 | i was informed over sushi recently that my friend's totem creature was the spider. mine is most definitely not the snake. i have a recurring dream that i'm being attacked by snakes or at least one snake. last night i dreamed i was attacked by a really fucked up looking one that appeared almost as if it had just been run over by a large wheel or stepped on by a giant foot or something. it chased me around the pier i found myself on and eventually bit deeply into my neck. i had to tear the jaw off it's body in order to escape. i discovered that i had it's fangs inside my mouth and all of it's venom was running down my chin and down my throat. i find the more i drink the more violent my dreams become. sometimes i want to drink enough to find my way back to zero. zero is hot magic! the number 11 is supposed to be magic too. delmore claims that in dreams begin responsibilities and denton affirms that in youth is pleasure. i'm reading a great novel titled a man without qualities. i hope tonight i dream that i am a one of a kind sea denizon that is so respected even the tiger sharks know to stay the fuck back! i'll just float around eating sea wreaths and listening to my echoplex. |
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
2006-10-03 - MySpace Blog
2006-12-14 - MySpace Blog
| i'm really loving the Love Is All album "9 times that same song". i especially love the song "make out. fall out. make up." i've also rediscovered Michael Jackson's Thriller. it comes with some cool new bonus stuff like a demo version of billy jean. PYT is so nice, like morris day's mansion. i love the album cover. i want to rip it off someday. anyone have a really cute and stoned little tiger cub they'd let me borrow? these are the bands that make loving fun, fiery furnaces, animal collective, deerhoof, caribou, four tet, loney dear, the knife, tv on the radio, mgmt, peter bjorn and john, lilly allen...god there's so much great music being made right now. it's insane! i'm reading The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil. it's scary the parallels between the main character's personality and my own. sometimes the best way to see yourself is through the mind of a fictional character. if that makes sense. what have you, dear friends, been reading/listening to? |
2007-01-22 - MySpace Blog
| i woke up at 4p.m. in new orleans after a long night /day of weird dreams. nothing new. i tried to find out what channel was going to show the NFL championship games until i realized that today is saturday. i wandered into the venue and was happy to see that the stage was a decent size and that we were going to be able to do the full production tonight. i was also psyched that the green room was nice and that we had our own bathroom. a touch of class. i went on a hunt for a coffee house and of course the only one around was a starbucks. to my chagrin they closed at 3 so i looked for some food instead. on the recommendation of this bartender at a hotel bar i went to a cajun restaurant around the corner. on the way i discovered this really cool architectural object and took a bunch of photos of it for my film project. i sat down in the restaurant and quickly became self conscious. i hate that feeling. i wished i had "the wind up bird chronicles" with me or, at the very least, my mobile phone. reproaching myself, i overcame that pathetic little feeling and just sat there and analyzed last night's dreams. i have this recurring dream about being in a house possessed by an evil invisible force. probably an extension of the effects of my catholic upbringing. so many of my weird superstitions can be blamed on that. hawk and a hacksaw's performance was rad as usual. it's amazing to hear sounds like that. so different from what you expect to hear at a rock venue. so inspiring. our show was a lot of fun. the highlights for me were the debut of the three headed tiger bull and the first live performance of "the past is a grotesque animal". the low point was when a group of misguided creeps chanted "steak,steak, steak" after we played "wraith pinned to the mist". it just proves,no matter how much you want to add something positive to the world, there will always be people who try to bring you down. not to say our selling of a song to a corporate steak house was something positive, but sometimes you have to suck a little dick to get by. that's just a hard fact of life. but really, of all the evil organizations out there, it's hard to imagine the thought process behind heckling of Montreal. oh well. still working out the kinks in the visuals but some progress was made from last night in memphis. i should mention that, in memphis, all of these super cute kids from little rock made the drive to see us and they brought us a bunch of hats, in response to my song "little rock". made me feel like a jerk for writing the song but they were good natured about it. after the new orleans show, the venue quickly transformed into a dance club catering to the worst of the CK1 set. i felt like an alien so i went and hid in the bus. after awhile i got bored and peeked my head out to discover these three indie kids hanging around so i began talking to them. they were very cool so we decided to go run around bourbon street together. i'm not the biggest fan of that scene but it's kind of cool to check it out every once and a while. lots of crazy drunk retards from the suburbs and sleazy characters. we did run into a bunch of kids that we're at the show and our entourage grew in number. we crashed this hotel party we heard about only to discover no party at all, just a couple sleeping on a fold out bed. we took the parade to a bar called one eyed jacks and had a gin and tonic. nothing too exciting. michael called and said we had to go back to the bus so the evening ended without climax. when our new friends dropped us back off at the bus, one of them confronted me about my song "gronlandic edit". being a christian, he was offended by the song's apparent dismissal of all religion as a haven for the delusional and pathetic. it made me realize the strange and unpredictable nature of belief. it's so bizarre how an idea can seem so real for one person and impossible for another. i have nothing against religions as long as they don't foster negativity and division. i told him as much and he seemed satisfied. so i jumped bak on the horse and we drove for twelve hours to san antonio through an intense rain shower. |
2007-08-27 - MySpace blog
| is it bizarre that, without question,more music is being made in the name of the dance now than since the Reagan/Thatcher epoch? i have to wonder,what is it about conservative politics that gets us all moving our feet? The obvious answer must be, we're dancing to forget. We're dancing to forget Islamic extremists, we're dancing to forget global warming, we're dancing to forget the new cold war lurking on the horizon, we're dancing to forget the war in Iraq, we're dancing to forget George W and Cheney, we're dancing to forget Don Henley... My question is this, when will we get to dance in celebration again? I guess in 2012 it will all become clearer. |
2007-08-30 - MySpace Blog
| i think it is very bad for an artist to have a desire to be liked. it is also bad for an artist to want to be disliked. although, from an audience members perspective, both have there potential upsides. for example, the average Barbara Streisand fan is not going to want to be verbally abused by Babs at a concert, but, a G.G.Allen fan would've been seriously disappointed if that legendary figure wouldn't have, at the very least, thrown a little of his own shit on to the crowd. But did G.G. throw his shit on to the crowd in an attempt to be liked or in an attempt to be disliked? Who knows? Not the shit, that's for sure. But performing and writing/recording are very different things. Most songwriters aren't going to allow themselves to present their personalities/public persona in an unflattering way. Most songwriters try to release their songs in an attempt to be noticed and to be loved, probably, and, since it is a big deal to release an album and a great opportunity for a writer to express the things they feel the need to express, it's not surprising that most writers rarely display a side of their personality that isn't somewhat likable or flattering. I think it's a shame because, most of us, can relate to that unflattering side of humanity. We can identify with, or at least are fascinated by, the socially damaging attributes inherent in all of us. An example of a writer who faced these subjects head on is, Jean Genet. I am fascinated by his writings. His portrayal of the criminal and the profane is wonderful. The thing is, Genet was a criminal before discovering his calling as a writer and, if he would have never written anything down, or at least never have gotten published, he probably would have remained a criminal until his death and would have been forgotten forever. As it is, though, he is a celebrated writer and an inspiration for many other great writers, like W Burroughs, J Kerouac, M Foucault...What's my point again? Um...oh yeah, i think more pop songwriters should write about the regrettable aspects of the human mind. We shouldn't be afraid of looking ugly or terrifying. The funny thing is,in hip-hop at least, writers are already doing just that. But the difference is, they are portraying themselves in an ugly way unintentionally. They don't realize that bragging about how much money you make and how much pussy you get and how many people you have killed is not endearing. Maybe they do realize it and they just don't give a fuck. They want to brag cause it feels good to brag. It feels good to let the ego rage. I'm sure it does feel good. In fact, I can say from experience that it does feel good, because I am doing it myself on my new album. Ha. Actually, that is what this rant is all about. I am exploring the dark and gloriously detestable sides of my consciousness. A lot of the people I've played the new songs for have been confused. I'm probably going to lose some fans but I don't care. I don't care because, I'm enjoying myself. I don't care because, I'm following the organic path of my muse, or whatever. Most of all I don't care because, the indie rock world is too polite and likable and I feel it needs the drunken uncle to show up, uninvited, to the birthday party and vomit on the couch. Not every year of course, but at least once in a while. |
2008-02-05 - MySpace Blog
| Category: Food and Restaurants in honor of the 10th anniversary of the release of one of my favorite and most cherished albums of all time, Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea", i'd like to say a few words i view that album as a high water mark in music. it's amazing that such a classic and important record could remain as, somewhat, underground as it has. in a way, it's great that it has, cause it has enabled everyone who has fallen under it's spell, to feel a special, personal connection with it. the songs penetrate the fog of my mind in such an uncommon way. i have been moved to tears at NMH shows. i can't say that that has ever happened before or since. i found myself crying, uncontrollably, and I couldn't make sense of it. after thinking about it later, i decided that it must have just been my body reacting to this beautiful force that was wrapping itself all around and inside of me. it was the only way, my poor little vessel, could respond to this insane, but benevolent, energy that completely had it's way with me. the greatest aspect of the songs on ITAOTS, is that, though they are full of pain and confusion and passion and madness, they never seem self pitying or self indulgent. they never become pedestrian. i feel that, jeff mangum's voice on that record, was a portal through which, the animal agony and maniac joy of the universal human spirit, found amplification. what do you have to say? let's all share our NMH stories. |
2008-06-10 - MySpace Blog
| Category: Automotive i've finished the new album. i've been working on it for over a year. it's mastered and ready to go. it won't come out till october though. i am very happy with it. i worry that some people are going to misunderstand it. there's nothing i can do about that though, now, it is done. anyways,i didn't create it to give people something to like. i created it because i was compelled to. it is possible to view this album as one long composition, with lots of different movements, or just as a collection of pop songs. i wanted to make an album that was unpredictable and, at times,startling, yet always hummable and catchy. some of the transitions are intentionally awkward. i did this to keep the listener off guard and to dismantle people's perception of how an album is supposed to be constructed. i am so bored with art that makes sense and "works". i wanted to do somethings that didn't "work". very few things pique our interest while they are working as we expect them to, things are far more interesting when they are not working. shocking people though, just for the sake of it, is so mundane. nothing on Skeletal Lamping was intended to shock. i just feel that,in most contemporary songs, you can basically finish the artist's sentences,musically and lyrically. i wanted to make an album where that was not possible. i wanted to make a record that could truly surprise a listener. to create something that was, in turns, enraging,joyous,discomforting,playful,lovely,unpleasant,freaky,mesmeric...something that came close to capturing the labyrinthine complexity of this human consciousness. i spend most of my time in a state of mild confusion and pensiveness. i imagine most people do too. this record is my attempt to bring all of my puzzling,contradicting,disturbing,humorous...fantasies,ruminations and observations to the surface, so that i can better dissect and understand their reason for being in my head. hence the title, Skeletal Lamping. Lamping is the name of a rather dreadful hunting technique where, hunters go into the forest at night, flood an area in light, then shoot,or capture,the animals as they panic and run from their hiding places. this album is my attempt at doing this to my proverbial skeletons. i haven't yet decided if i should shoot or just capture them though. |
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
2007-11-16 - Stereogum - "Selling Out Isn't Possible"
of Montreal Talk T-Mobile: "Selling Out Isn't Possible"
Last Saturday night, while out in Brooklyn, we met a PA who worked a T-Mobile video shoot with of Montreal, also mentioning that Art Brut shot a commercial for the same campaign earlier in the day. oM's went down at Waldorf, while Art Brut filmed at Irving Plaza. Curious, and jumping into reporter mode, we heard from another source that oM's spot would feature two lines of Kevin Barnes dialogue and the band in full Monty attire. Hello, America. We were curious about the logistics and the band's decision-making process, especially considering some of the flak they received for their Outback campaign, so we reached out to see what was what. Kevin Barnes, master lobster handler, kindly stepped to the plate. Of course we weren't asking the man to defend himself (we certainly prefer oM to Mellencamp during Office breaks); nevertheless, Kevin's presupposed a "Band Of Whorses"-style backlash and titled his essay to 'Gum readers "Selling Out Isn't Possible"...
Selling Out Isn't Possible
by Kevin Barnes
Are you a sell out? Yes. Don't let it bother you though, cause apparently I am also a sell out, and so are your parents and everyone you've ever known. The only way to avoid selling out is to live like a savage all alone in the wilderness. The moment you attempt to live within the confines of a social order, you become a sell out. Once you attempt to coexist you sell out. If that's true, then selling out is a good thing. It is an important thing. If we didn't do it, we'd be fucked, quite literally, by everyone bigger than us physically who found us fuckable.The pseudo-nihilistic punk rockers of the 70's created an impossible code in which no one can actually live by. It's such garbage. The idea that anyone who attempts to do anything commercial is a sell out is completely out of touch with reality. The punk rock manifesto is one of anarchy and intolerance. The punk rockers polluted our minds. They offered a solution that had no future. Of course, if the world would have ended before Sandinista! was released then everything would have been alright. It didn't. Now we have all of these half-conceived ideas and idiot philosophies floating around to confuse and alienate us. I think it is important to face reality. It is important to decide whether you are going to completely rail against the system or find a way to make it work for you. You cannot do both -- and if you attempt to do both you will only become even more bitter and confused.
When I was younger, and supported my parents, I chose to float between the two. A lot of people choose to do this. There are so many confused young people running around now polluted by this alloyed version of the tenets of the punk rock manifesto. Of course they're confused. It isn't possible to be in chorus with capitalism and anarchy. You must pick one or the other. Very few people are willing to do it, though. The worst kind of person is the one who sucks the dick of the man during the daytime and then draws pictures of themselves slitting his throat at night. Jesus Christ, make up your mind! The thing is, there is a lack of balance. When capitalism is working on a healthy level, everyone gets their dick sucked from time to time and no one gets their throat slit. It's impossible to be a sell out in a capitalist society. You're only a winner or a loser. Either you've found a way to crack the code or you are struggling to do so. To sell out in capitalism is basically to be too accommodating, to not get what you think you deserve. In capitalism, you don't get what you think you deserve though. You get what someone else thinks you deserve. So the trick is to make them think you are worth what you feel you deserve. You deserve a lot, but you'll only get it when you figure out how to manipulate the system.
Why commercialize yourself? In the art industry, it's extremely difficult to be successful without turning yourself into a cartoon. Even Hunter S. Thompson knew this. God knows Duchamp and Warhol knew it. Some artists are turned into cartoons and others do it themselves. I prefer to do it myself. at least then I can control how my cock is photographed. Why should it be considered such an onerous thing to view the production of art as a job? To me, the luckiest people are the ones who figure out a way to earn a living doing what they love and gain fulfillment from. Like all things in this life, you have to make certain sacrifices to get what you want. At least most of us do. If you're not some trust-fund kid or lotto winner, you've got to slave it out everyday. People who wanna be artists have the hardest time of it 'cause we are held up to these impossible standards. We're expected to die penniless and insane so that the people we have moved and entertained over the years can keep us to themselves. So that they can feel a personal and untarnished connection with our art. The second we try to earn a living wage or, god forbid, promote our art in the mainstream, we are placed under the knives of the sanctimonious indie fascists. Unfortunately, there isn't some grand umbrella grant that supports indie rockers financially and enables us to exist outside of the trappings of capitalism.
The thing is, I like capitalism. I think it's an interesting challenge. It's a system that rewards the imaginative and ambitious adults and punishes the lazy adults. Our generation is insanely lazy. We're just as smart as our parents but we are overwhelmed by contradicting ideas that confuse us into paralysis. Maybe the punk rock ethos made sense for the "no future" generation but it doesn't make sense for me. I like producing and purchasing things. I'd much rather go to IKEA than to stand in some bread line. That's because I don't have to stand in a bread line. Most people who throw around terms like "sellout" don't have to stand in one either. They don't have to stand in one because they are gainfully employed. The term "sellout" only exists in the lexicon of the over-privileged. Almost every non-homeless person in America is over-privileged, at least in a global sense.
Obviously, I've struggled with the concept. I've struggled because of the backlash following my songs placement in TV commercials. That is, until I realized that the negative energy that was being directed towards me really began to inspire my creativity. It has given me a sense of, "well, I'll show them who is a sellout, I'm going to make the freakiest, most interesting, record ever!!!" ... "I'm going to prove to them that my shit is wild and unpolluted by the reach of some absurd connection to mainstream corporate America."
I realized then that, for me, selling out is not possible. Selling out, in an artistic sense, is to change one's creative output to fit in with the commercial world. To create phony and insincere art in the hopes of becoming commercially successful. I've never done this and I can't imagine I ever will. I spent seven years not even existing at all in the mainstream world. Now I am being supported and endorsed by it. I know this won't last forever. No one's going to want to use one of my songs in a commercial five years from now, so I've got to take the money while I can. It's the same with pro athletes. You only get it while you're hot and no one stays commercially viable for long. It's not like Michael Vick is going to be receiving any big endorsement deals anytime soon. As sad as it may seem, one of the few ways most indie bands can make any money whatsoever is by selling a song to a commercial. Very very few bands make enough money from album sales or tour revenue to enable themselves to quit their day job.
Next time you see a commercial with one of your favorite bands songs in it, just tell yourself, "cool, a band I really like made some money and now I can probably look forward to a few more records from them." It's as simple as that. We all have to do certain things, from time to time, that we might not be completely psyched about, in order to pay the bills. To me, the TV is the world's asshole boss and if anyone can earn some extra bucks from it and they're not Bill O'Reilly, it's a good thing.
